20 days to go

I've been absent minded on my blogs as of late for the same reason in the last blog, keeping busy, but I know have128 days invested into this deployment, and each and every one of them have sucked, but he got transferred from Iraq 3 days ago to Afghanistan. He'll be there for about 3 weeks or so and then he's home and he'll be mine again, for a little while at least. He's recent change in location means that communication is pretty much down the toilet so it looks like I'll be doing this last stretch all by myself. I'm not excited about it at all, considering if the lack of sleep wasn't bad before, it's really bad now, maybe 5 hours since Wed. I keep sending him emails to let him know that I'm thinking about him, but he's only been able to check them once, which is more than most get. I'm planning something extra special for his homecoming, considering his birthday was during deployment and we didn't get to celebrate it, I'm going to do it up right when he gets home. There has also been a lot of talk of me joining him in Texas when he comes home, a fact I'm [NOT] sharing with my mother who still refuses to have anything to do with me while I'm seeing [HIM]. I have a feeling a it's going to be a bloodbath when he comes home. But I can't say I'm really scared. I love him and he loves me, there's no reason why we shouldn't be together and I'm not going to let anyone tell me how I can live my life, or pick who I choose to have in it. So I guess we'll wait and see.
20 Days in [HELL] left.
But I forever is in the future.
<3>

From Iraq With Love

My love has been gone now 70 days.. most days it feels like a lifetime, but at least I'm able to stay in contact with him. He seems to be in good spirits, he's just really hating the routine, it got old really quick, but it's not like he can go out with his friends for a beer when he gets off work. I keep having horrible nightmares about things I hate being in my mind, but I can't turn them off. Reading some of the horror stories I've seen about wives and loved ones who's soldiers didn't come home are really getting to me. I hate having those moments in the day when something funny happens and I want to text Mr. Incredible and tell him about it, but I can't, I have to wait till his internet works and he's able to call me. I think that's what I miss most, having those moments without being about to share them with him. Every holiday, birthday, or anniversary he misses takes a tiny toll on my heart, but I know in the end it's all worth it to be in his arms again. I wish I had more friends who were dealing with this, so I wouldn't feel like I was doing this alone. Most of the friends I do have that have loved ones in the Service, live on base, or have kids by them or are married, I don't have that connection with him. I love him more than anything else in the world and don't get me wrong, I want those things with him, but as for right now, it's just me. One thing that goes through my mind the most is... what if something does happen *GOD FORBID* I wouldn't even exist to the Army, they wouldn't even tell me if something did happen, I know Richie, his son, would call me, but that could take days. Things like that torture me, I try to keep as busy as possible * Hints: No Blogs * I take his tags off, only to shower, and the other day I forgot to put them back on before I left the house... I cried, had to turn around and go back home and get them, pathetic I know, but in some weird way I think he can feel that, maybe I am crazy for feeling that way, but I feel naked without them. I think I'm done with my rant/ update for now. I'll try to update this as soon as possible. Thank you for reading... Hurry up and wait, August... Hooah!

First Blog

So, I decided to join the Military walk of life on October 3rd, 2009. That's the day I met Michael [a.k.a Mr. Incredible], we met at a movies in Murfreesboro TN. He walked right up to me, after catching me staring at him, [TWICE], completely embarrassed. I could tell he was older than me, but I tend to like my boyfriends older. He asked me, "What would you say if I asked for your number?" to which I replied, "Probably not." So he says, "Okay, I'll give you mine, you can call me tonight and if we have nothing to talk about after 5 minutes you can hang up and I'll never bother you again." I agreed. I didn't call him that night, but the next night my curiousness got the better of me, and I called him, 3 hours later... I was hooked. He revealed he lived in Texas, Killeen, to be exact, and that he worked at Ft. Hood. When he told me how old he was... I was shocked to say the least, 4 years younger than my daddy was [{NOT}] going to go over well. So we decided to keep our relationship a secret, till [WE] knew this was something worth keeping alive. I was head over heels before I knew it and he seemed to be too. December 17th, 2009, he delivered the news that he was headed to Iraq for a month or so [Mr. Incredible is an Army Major, normal deployments are rare.] he also told me that communication would be very limited due to the constant moving around. I was pretty overwhelmed, I just fell in love with a man I wouldn't be able to talk to and would be a world away, but my feelings being what they are, I knew I had no choice but to wait for my love to return to me. During the course of the 3 weeks that Mr. Incredible was overseas, my parents learned of relationship, and needless to say they were unhappy and very uncomfortable with it, but they had to accept it. My daddy surprised me TREMENDOUSLY by wanting to meet him as soon as possible. January 10th, 2009, my other half returned home safe and sound, and plans we soon made for him to see me and meet my daddy. January 22nd, 2009, he arrived in Murfreesboro TN and we were scheduled to meet my daddy the next day. I was SO nervous, I really expected my daddy to hide a gun and shoot him on site, but everything went amazingly well, and my daddy loved him. Mr. Incredible left the following Monday with the promise of return for a full week in February [8-15th]. I was looking forward to spending the week with him, but then I got the worst news any Military [girlfriend, wife, fiancee] could receive. Deployment. A word I'd heard before, that had never applied to me. This time it did. As mentioned before my love is an Army Major, and it seems a deployed Lieutenant Colonel had decided to tragically take his own life, thanks to an unfaithful wife at home. He received this news February 5th, 3 days before our week of bliss. They wanted him to leave on the 8th, but it wasn't possible due to the fact he hadn't planned for it, so they decided for him to out the next Thursday, the 11th. I didn't get to see him before he left, but I was comforted by the fact that I'd be able to talk to him every day. So here I am, March 1st, and I'm still waiting for the love of my life to come back to my arms. Everyday that passes, is one day closer. His dog tags stay next to my heart, day and night, to remind me he's never more than a prayer away. So that's my life [ATM]. I'm not sure why I created this blog, I guess to help myself sort out my mess of a life, and get all my emotions out of me and into the Cyber-World, there may be comfort in my words, and I may find comfort out there as well. I'm not the first woman who's had this difficult job, and I won't be the last, I just have to remember, it's not called the hardest job in the Military for nothing. It comes with struggle and sacrifice, and his name may be the only one on the dotted line, but that line has been branded to my heart and I will live by it, as long as he is by my side. I'm the strength behind the man that stands where few are brave enough to go. Hooah!